Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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