I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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