I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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