you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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