So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
