I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
