i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
