I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
jump out the window naked night went bad
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
