I'm going to jail i love you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
