sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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