SEEEEXXX PLEASE
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
