Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
