dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
