They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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