I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
