How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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