Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
