btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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