where am i from again
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
