It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
