Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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