Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
