just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
