yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
