I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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