It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
