i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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