Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
