My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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