Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
