Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
