She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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