Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
