yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
