i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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