you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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