i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The air was thick with penises
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
