True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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