He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
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