All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
