it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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