Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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