What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
