I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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