I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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