He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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