yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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