Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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