One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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