When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
