oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
